It's been a year plus since i last posted on this blog , i almost forgot about this blog's existence already . So now where do i start ?
Let's start with school life , well the study part of my poly life is already over , it's quite saddening actually , now that i'm separated from the rest of my poly friends , with them going for their FYP first and me heading for attachment first .__. . But i gotten used to it already , after all this is what everyone that enters a poly has to face eventually. I'm already 3/4 into my attachment , which means i'll head back to school for my FYP in roughly 3 more weeks . It's pretty fast i swear , because after my FYP is done , my poly life is officially over . Then army life will be just around the corner . I guess i'll just take it a step at a time eh :)
And then , there's my love life , there's this girl i have been liking for roughly 7 months .. I have been with her through her ups and downs of relationships with her boyfriends , and recently she broke up with her bf .. It was rather devastating for her , she resorted to drinking and clubbing to drown her sorrows . Honestly , it really hurt me seeing her like that . But there's this guy in her class that likes her , she likes him too but she's afraid of getting hurt again . Now usually guys at this point , well most of them , will take this chance to confess , but for me , even though i really liked her , i want her to be happy , even if it's not with me. So i told her to go for it because i can tell that she really likes him , and to let go the painful past and move forward. And thankfully she did , now she's getting along with this guy.
I really feel happy for her that she's gotten over the past and moved forward with this other guy , but at the same time .. The pain i feel when she shows me pictures of them together , it's not exactly the most easiest thing to endure . But i have to , for her happiness . She's having a rather happy life now , and i'm really glad she is . But sometimes when i feel alone , i'll still think of her though , it's not right .. But i just can't help it , i can only look at her from a distance with this other guy ..
Well that's all i have to say , the good thing about this blog now is that its existence has long been forgotten by others , so i can treat this as my personal diary =)
Signing off :
4:32 pm
29/10/2013
i dreamt about you and me at 1:33 AM.
Hi Guys ! Haven't Really Blogged In A Long Time :D Busy With My Poly Life And Stuffs , So Ya , I Decided To Blog Today Purely Because Of The Reason That I'm Freaking Bored :( .
So Ya , Today Marks The End Of Week 1 , Semester 1 of My 2nd Year In NYP , And Let Me Tell You , The Modules I'm Having Now , Ain't Easy At All :( .. Especially Maths , Boring Module + Boring Teacher = Recipe For Disaster ... This Is Gonna Be The Toughest Semester Yet , But I'm Sure I'll Be Able To Get Through It :P
Well , Studies Aside , I'm Currently Having A Peaceful Time In My Life Now , Other Than All The Family Problems I Have , I'm Really Bonding With My Clique :) Though We Splited To Different Schools :( , We Are Still Damn Close Like Last Time , And I'm Thankful For That :)
So I Guess Now I Gotta Go Study First Then , Will Post Whenever I Feel Like It :) See Ya ! Peace Out (Y)
i dreamt about you and me at 11:26 PM.
Hey ! I'm Back To Blog :D Well After 1 and a half years =x , i'm not too sure why i came back to blog , but since i got no one to share my thoughts with , i thought this blog could provide a platform for me to let out my thoughts ...
It's already the 15th of March , about 6 months and 5 days ago , the love that i thought will be with me , shattered that thought right through me ... Well , after that happened , it kinda left me hanging in pain ;/
At that point of time , i thought to myself , maybe i didn't really like her , maybe she wasn't as important as i thought she would be to me .. and i tried to forget about her ... I really did .. We broke contact from each other , and she gradually disappeared from my life ...
So after around 2 months or so ... I couldn't take it anymore , i had to contact her again , just to know how she was doing ... and well , she was doing fine without me ...
Normally , if a girl broke off contact with me , i wouldn't contact her again , because maybe u know ... i'm irritating and everything =.= but for her , i don't know why , i just had to contact her again .
So back to after 2 months , i contacted her again , we began to went back as being friends , texting each other occasionally , i liked that feeling alot , because it reminded me of those times i had with her ..
After a month or so ... i confessed to her again for the 3rd time , and yes .. its the 3rd time .. but i got my heart shattered in my face , not because she rejected me , but because she told me she has feelings for another guy .. Man , i gotta tell you , i was literally at rock bottom during the few days after she told me that ...
So she told me that we should just be friends , and eventually i agreed .. and i thought maybe after that , i would just give up on her , but eventually , i begin to think about her again , whenever i'm lonely , the first person i always seem to think about is her , even when i'm with my family , i still think about her ...
And you know , its ironic , how a girl i met online through a game , changed my life , for the better and the worst , puts me through my best and worst times of my life ...
So i decided to text her again , and after a few weeks of texting , i confessed to her again .. and i was surprised , she said she would think about it , that got me real happy , because she finally was willing to consider it instead of just saying no to me ...
I knew i had to spend more time with her in order for all this to work , and 31st of December , the last day of the year , happened to be around the corner , i asked her out , and she said yes ! I was freaking happy at that time , literally sky high :D
We went out , had alot of fun , I got to spend time with her alone , which was awesome .. The feeling of it is just .. hard to describe it with words , i thought to myself , this was it .. This is the time that after so long , she was going to be my girl .. but i was wrong , totally wrong , she rejected me ... because she still had feelings for that guy ... I literally broke down , really , the pain was just .. unbearable ..
It's been half a year , since so many things happened ... I still miss her , but i know she will never be mine , i don't wish to disturb her life .. because i know i will be just plunging myself into another hopeless and painful moment .. so ... even though i know you won't see this , and i'm not planning to , i miss you a lot , so much that it still hurts after so long .. i've never been so serious about a girl before , you were the first , the one that i couldn't imagine having to live without .. the one i want to be with , the one that makes me truly happy ..
And so , i end this post with this , goodbye and hopefully , a miracle , that day , will come .. someday :/
i dreamt about you and me at 10:24 AM.
