Hey ! I'm Back To Blog :D Well After 1 and a half years =x , i'm not too sure why i came back to blog , but since i got no one to share my thoughts with , i thought this blog could provide a platform for me to let out my thoughts ...
It's already the 15th of March , about 6 months and 5 days ago , the love that i thought will be with me , shattered that thought right through me ... Well , after that happened , it kinda left me hanging in pain ;/
At that point of time , i thought to myself , maybe i didn't really like her , maybe she wasn't as important as i thought she would be to me .. and i tried to forget about her ... I really did .. We broke contact from each other , and she gradually disappeared from my life ...
So after around 2 months or so ... I couldn't take it anymore , i had to contact her again , just to know how she was doing ... and well , she was doing fine without me ...
Normally , if a girl broke off contact with me , i wouldn't contact her again , because maybe u know ... i'm irritating and everything =.= but for her , i don't know why , i just had to contact her again .
So back to after 2 months , i contacted her again , we began to went back as being friends , texting each other occasionally , i liked that feeling alot , because it reminded me of those times i had with her ..
After a month or so ... i confessed to her again for the 3rd time , and yes .. its the 3rd time .. but i got my heart shattered in my face , not because she rejected me , but because she told me she has feelings for another guy .. Man , i gotta tell you , i was literally at rock bottom during the few days after she told me that ...
So she told me that we should just be friends , and eventually i agreed .. and i thought maybe after that , i would just give up on her , but eventually , i begin to think about her again , whenever i'm lonely , the first person i always seem to think about is her , even when i'm with my family , i still think about her ...
And you know , its ironic , how a girl i met online through a game , changed my life , for the better and the worst , puts me through my best and worst times of my life ...
So i decided to text her again , and after a few weeks of texting , i confessed to her again .. and i was surprised , she said she would think about it , that got me real happy , because she finally was willing to consider it instead of just saying no to me ...
I knew i had to spend more time with her in order for all this to work , and 31st of December , the last day of the year , happened to be around the corner , i asked her out , and she said yes ! I was freaking happy at that time , literally sky high :D
We went out , had alot of fun , I got to spend time with her alone , which was awesome .. The feeling of it is just .. hard to describe it with words , i thought to myself , this was it .. This is the time that after so long , she was going to be my girl .. but i was wrong , totally wrong , she rejected me ... because she still had feelings for that guy ... I literally broke down , really , the pain was just .. unbearable ..
It's been half a year , since so many things happened ... I still miss her , but i know she will never be mine , i don't wish to disturb her life .. because i know i will be just plunging myself into another hopeless and painful moment .. so ... even though i know you won't see this , and i'm not planning to , i miss you a lot , so much that it still hurts after so long .. i've never been so serious about a girl before , you were the first , the one that i couldn't imagine having to live without .. the one i want to be with , the one that makes me truly happy ..
And so , i end this post with this , goodbye and hopefully , a miracle , that day , will come .. someday :/
i dreamt about you and me at 10:24 AM.
